She Craves Lemon Pie II

Sparky says...



Try to keep up with me here. I'm still reeling.



First of all, I blame this entire MINDFUCK on that stupid movie the Fourth Kind. Why did I go to a movie that I knew was going to scare me? I couldn't go home to an empty apartment after that.





Have you ever had a person you just couldn't get rid of? They stick to you, cling to you like velcro. Attach themselves to you like a permanent pathogen, always sneaking around from cell to cell in your body, ever ellusive and mutating as time goes on. You'll always have them there, like your favorite scar on your body-- it's probably the most grotesque but it has the most epic story! They are the person you would hate if you didn't love them so fucking much.



I have him. And sometimes he has me. I have felt many things for this man. I have liked, loved, and even hated it. But tonight, I just missed him. I missed the good old times, when our conversations were nothing but awesome bullshit. The days when we picked on each other or sat there and bitched. I wanted my boy back. The friend I could count on to cheer me up just because he knew I needed it. The guy who would get hammered with me so we could argue about Greek Mythology or the deep philosophical meaning behind He who is the Dude.



So I went to visit him. And it was awesome. Nothing ever changes between he and I, no matter how much time passes. It's as if every conversation we have goes exactly as it should.



But then something snuck up on both of us. Our inner voices started screaming at each other, "Haha, remember when we use to fuck? Good times!" We both knew what the other thinking, that is the disgusting beauty of he and I. Suddenly my friend was gone and my lover had returned. What was a perfectly appropriate moment now felt like a moment I was stealing, even though nothing at all happened. It was a "now or never" type of moment. One I can imagine I will look back on and constantly wonder if I made the right decision.

I chose never.

It was the right choice, even if I don't want it to be.


Lacey says...

High five!!!