Go Back To Sleep

"Even now I can feel it, buried somewhere deep inside, watching me, waiting..."

Nina says...


I'm fairly certain that my favorite comic is the Hulk. I just feel like I can relate to Bruce Banner sometimes, ya know? Poor, poor Bruce.





Amanda says...


I hate talking about this stuff, but I feel like it's important to start keeping a record of it somewhere.


So last night I got a migraine. First one I have had in a few months, at least. And when I say migraine, it was a doozy.


The pain started around 3 am. I just sat down and noticed that my head sort of hurt. I took some Ibuprofen, smoked a bowl, and decided to go to bed. Around 3:30 am, my head really started to hurt, and I decided to take a muscle relaxer. At 3:45 am I started to vomit and thereby decided it was going to be a long night, since when that happens it is officially a migraine. Once vomitting starts, I can no longer take any more medication, I will only throw it up. So at that point I was in pain, very sick, and kicking myself for not taking my antinausea medication when I had the chance. I stopped vomitting around 4:30 am, and that is when things start to get fuzzy.


So 4:30 am to about 10:00 am this morning, this is what I know. My head was in tremendous amounts of pain. I remember at one point lying in my bed, rubbing my head, and getting some morbid amusement from feeling all the knots in the muscles around my temple. I remember laughing and saying "Well, Francis, it seems you have come to keep me company tonight." Then I remember suddenly being really scared because I was certain that Francis had come to kill me, and I was alone. I was convinced I was dying. I called a friend, who didn't answer because it was five in the goddamn morning. By the time I hung up the phone, I wasn't even sure why I had called him. I was completely confused. I honestly had no idea what was going on, aside from the fact that my head really fucking hurt.


I think I fell asleep around 6:00. I woke up at 10:00, and I was fine. I had a dull headache, but nothing nearly as bad. I was tired, but I was fine.

So then, what have I learned from this whole event? While Francis is no longer showing up on a regular basis, he is certainly showing more gusto then he has in the past. That's okay, I can handle it. Obviously. I'm still here, and I am fine.


The only thing concerning me, though, is this... confusion, dellusion, psychosis?... I can't find the right word here... that I seem to feel when I am in the midst of an ... episode?... is that the right word? I mean, I know very well now that I was not dying, nor am I ever dying when these things happen. I just have a migraine. Problem is, I am so certain that I am dying at the time. And combining fear with pain is not a good thing.


Hmmm... I'm gonna have to think of possible solutions to this problem. I need to find a way to remind myself that I am fine when I am in those states. Maybe I will make some sort of sign for my room. It will have to read something like "Relax, man" or something that will make me laugh. Something ridiculous and comforting.