"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."

-Edgar Allen Poe

An exceprt from the movie 12 Monkeys...

It's a condition of "mental divergence". I find myself on another planet, Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though it's a totally convincing reality in every way...I can feel, breathe, hear...nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?

-L.J. Washington


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

She Desires Freedom

The Narrator says...

She needs a life completely separate from them. A life of her own, where she is free to be messy and completely insane. She is tired of being told how to live by a band of hypocrites. The loonies who actually think they are running the loony bin. They just keep helping and helping and helping, but they only make it worse.

She wants nothing from them anymore. Not a thing. They only make her head more of a mess by judging her life based on their own standards. Do they not see how destructive they are towards her? Always reaching, try to grab hold tightly to this girl. They keep trying to tell her she is wrong. They make her feel like the number 13, unlucky and forever stigmatized. They make her feel ugly. They make her feel weak.

She wonders if they would think differently of her if they knew the truth about her life that she has intentionally kept from them. Everything she has been through. Do they ever really stop to think why she has hidden such terrible things from them? She wants to move on. She wants to create her own life, based on her own standards. But they never let her go. They tell her not to be a victim, yet the truth is they are the only ones in the world who make her feel like she is. And she cannot wait for the day when their own judgments turn on themselves, and they can see they are no better than she is.

She will run away soon. They doubt she can make it on her own. But in her mind, that is the greatest part of the escape. They underestimate her. So when she does leave them behind, they will have no clue as to where she has gone.

Then she will be free.

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