Please... Not Yet! Ha!

Nina says...

Yes, Freddy! Do it to me!!!!

"Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it's turning inside out Yeah!
I'm floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't want to stop at all

I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman out of you

Don't stop me don't stop me don't stop me
Hey hey hey!
Don't stop me don't stop me
Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Don't stop me have a good time good time
Don't stop me don't stop me
Ooh ooh Alright"

Sparky says...

I feel better. And I shouldn't.

I needed to do something to remind me of how bad ass I can really be. Just a little pick-me-up. Nothing too intense, just something tiny to get me through my emo night.

I stole something. I shit you not, I did. You know how I have had this little itch lately to see if I could get away with murder? Well, I scratched it a bit.

Now before you start thinking something grand (Hollywood, big-budget where I roll into the convenient store, my scooter equipped with lethal lasers, and demand preposterous items), let me ruin the awe of your curiosity... I only shoplifted one, inconsequential item. A small package of feminine napkins. I figured if I happened to get caught carting that out the big sliding doors, at least I could pull a cripple card, start to cry, and plead with the clerks that I was just too embarrassed to buy them! Honestly, what would they do to a frantic, physically challenged, young woman in tears who was only stealing some pads? Never mind that I have bought condoms there on several occasions before.

I kept it simple. I just slipped the package into my basket, along with a few other items I decided I "needed." Then, I rolled nonchalantly (any ideas on a cripple-friendly term for "strolled?") down a deserted costume aisle and slipped it into my purse. I paid for my other items, and cruised by the security detectors on my way out the doors. Simple. Discreet. Victorious.

I doubt the clerks took much note of me. Aside, from maybe the stray thought of "Oh, here's that cute disabled girl who always comes in at weird hours to grocery shop." Not a suspicion in the world. Oh yes, Jesus is good to the cripples sometimes.

As a strange afterthought, I noticed another shoplifter while I myself was shoplifting. (I always seem to notice the sketchy people!) He was dumber than I was. I kept running into him while I was looking for an empty aisle. He was a scruffy-looking fellow, wearing a big coat, and pushing around a nearly empty cart. Every time we saw each other, he became more uneasy. I can only imagine what he thought. I wonder if it was even beyond him to think that I could be a shoplifter. I'd like to think maybe he thought I was more likely a cop of sorts. A shoplifting mole. Ha! Because that would happen!

And one final note, don't get your panties in a twist, Miss Sunshine. I doubt I will do it again. The act served its purpose, I am satisfied.