Are We There Yet?

"All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to give in"
-Cabaret

The Narrator says...

When just one decides to knock, they all knock. When just one breaks loose, do they all flee?


Amanda says...

A lot going on in my head lately! It's made it difficult to write because I am having trouble organizing all my ideas, they are all jumbled in my mind, speaking to me all at once. It's the Fall season, it always stimulates my creativity. But man, it's crazy this year! I feel like at any moment my thoughts will start spilling from my ears.


Nina says...

It's happening again. For the first time in years... it is happening again. Music is no longer just background noise, it's something to absorb. I find myself stopping in the middle of doing something important to get lost in whatever is playing in my headphones. I suddenly forget what I am doing and follow a heavy beat. I... just... can't... help it! Music has become a complete experience again. I see, hear, smell, taste and feet it. It rips me from this world and shoves me into a war zone in my mind, and the battle is epic! Bombs of the most symphonic noise burst before me and send gravel composed of vibrant colors flying through the aromatic air around me! I am lost before I even have time to remember where I came from.

It's all about the music again. And it's all thanks to one ridiculous, girly, gay television show: Glee. That's right, I said it, GLEE!!! I'm saying it loudly, proudly and completely without shame, I love Glee! It's my new drug.

Their rendition of Maybe This Time, from Cabaret brought me to actual tears. (True story.) It's amazing what inspires me these days.

P.S. Natalie just gets me this morning:

"Ophelia was a tempest cyclone
A god damned hurricane
Your common sense
Your best defense
Lay wasted and in vain

Ophelia'd know your every woe
And pain you'd ever had
She'd sympathize
And dry your eyes
And help you to forget...

Ophelia's mind went wandering
You'd wonder where she'd gone
Through secret doors
Down corridors
She'd wander them alone
All alone..."

Sparky says...

So something has changed. Things are definitely different these days. Not than I'm complaining, I adore change! It's all about reinvention. But I didn't mean to change this time. Hell, I don't even know what I changed.

How do I know something has changed? Well, allow me to get blatantly egotistical for a moment.

The men are flocking to me. And they are all men from my past who decided to overlook me. It's almost like a buzzer went off in their heads, letting them know it was time for a girl like me in their lives. I've heard things like "You know, I have no idea why I never took it to the next step with you," and "I always liked you, I just don't know why I never did anything about it," oh and this one "I just need a guy with tits and a vagina, just like you!"

I will be honest with you, boys, if you had come to me back in the day, I would have melted for you. You would have made me gitty, totally at the command of your will. I would have given you everything. But you didn't say it back then, when it mattered. And I moved on without even realizing it.

I don't want to be with any of them. It's not because I think I'm better than them or because they've treated me badly. They are all perfect. I just don't want to be with anyone. I'm enjoying being selfish too much.

...what the fuck?! Seriously! How is this fair? Is this Jesus' ultimate punishment, an incongruity of hearts? I don't know.

And when did I grow an ego? Oh oh! Maybe that's what changed. Yeah. Ha.

Or maybe, they just want to be in my book. Sneaky bastards.


Susie says...

Busy, busy, busy. Work, play, write, travel... I hardly have time for it all.

I am at my best under these conditions. I work well under pressure. I like forcing myself to be productive. And having the chance to excel. I've decided I need competition in my life. What's the point if I don't have someone to one up? Even if that someone is only myself.

The only discouraging thing is my severe lack of money to show for all my business. True I am broker than a joke at the moment. But I will just consider that another challenge.


Lacey says....

Hahahaha, yes! I'm having so much fun right now. Out here in the open, for all the people to gawk at, to fear. I want them all to see me, to love me for reasons they are unsure of. And right when I have them where I want them, I will switch it up and change the game. Confuse them. Weed out the weak ones. Destroy them.

This season is much better than I could have ever imagined. I'm living it up while I can.

You know what they say... the higher they rise, the harder they fall. And we are pretty fuckin high right now. Just remember what happened last November, and the November before that, and even the November before that! The leaves fall, and the snow sets in. And all those grand emotions we fire up suddenly become stifled by the cold. It creates a mess. A mess we have narrowly made it through in the past.

The joy will die with the first snow. As soon as I'm caged, I will lose it, like always. I know it. You know it. We all know it.

So skip to the sway of the ticking clock sucking away the seconds. Play well now. Pay the price later.