Lady Goodman

Sparky says...

I remember when I was seventeen years old I saw the movie Almost Famous. As cheesy at it sounds, it changed my life. More specifically the character Penny Lane changed my life.

I saw in her everything I wanted to be. She is a creature of the moment. Heartbreaking now, only to be enchanting later. A go-getter. An artist. A muse.

I think that is when I decided I was ready to move on in my life. I was ready to live. It was the beginning of my reinvention.

Psycho!

Nina says...

There are no words. Only heavy beats.

Sparky says...

Party mode: engaged!

Of course, I have been painfully reminded of the greatest annoyance of playing the social butterfly. I also happen to be a creep magnet. How the hell did I forget that?

I wish I could have a talk with these boys before they decide I'm their game for the night. At least give them a heads up. Let them know it doesn't matter how many compliments they pay me, or how sincere their "little trooper" admiration speech is. I still know what they are doing. And I know why they're doing it. I wanna tell them they got gypped on their fleece coat, because they still look like a wolf to me.

Lacey says...

The first thing he did when I entered the door was smell me. He put his nose right above my head, almost nestled in my hair, and said, "Oh my God, you smell amazing." It wasn't the fact that he did it, it was the way he did it. He hovered, I could almost feel his deep breathing not even inches away from me. I immediately thought of Jack the Ripper. And suddenly this man, who had always seemed off to me, was my predator.

The night raged on, and he hunted. He followed me like my biggest fan. He sat next to me, he stood by my side. He drank what was left of my shots when I was too drunk to get all the booze down, sometimes plucking the glass from my hand. He laughed at my jokes. He complimented me. He told me I was amazing.

By the end of the night he was caressing my back and giving me too many hugs. He lingered... all night he lingered, like he was waiting for more.

I didn't say much to him. Quite honestly I was waiting for the alcohol to make him go away. And yet, he stayed.

And at one very drunken point in the night. He put his hand on my back and said, "I feel like I'm paying you a lot of attention," he stared down at me, "I feel like I am paying you too much attention." And there he waited!

...and did I mention his girlfriend was passed out not ten feet away from this entire shit show?

All I could do was laugh and walk away.

Keep it up, fucker. Keep it up.

Don't Stop Me Now

Lacey says...

I have made the recent presumption that I am going to be a spinster for the rest of my life. It is not nearly as sad as everyone believes. Honestly, I am quite comfortable with the idea.

Allow me to tell you why...

My life is full of pain. Physical and emotional. That is not my imagination, nor is it an exaggeration. It is quite simply a fact. How could it not be? I am a physically challenged woman. I am not the norm. My life is not easy compared to most. My future is unpredictable. If I grow old, it will be a painful, debilitating, and most likely deforming process.

I am perfectly fine with this fact, most days. In fact, usually I don't even notice the degree of my hardships. Sometimes I even doubt there is a degree. Most days, my hardships are just life to me.

How have I learned to deal? Humor. I have a wonderful sense of humor about myself. There really is nothing funnier to me than a good, real tragedy. Why not laugh at what you can't change? That is my philosophy, and it has done me well. But I realize it is a philosophy that most don't understand. I know that more often than not, I am laughing alone.

It is hard to ask someone to accept a life of constant "tragedy." And I don't think I have the patience to reassure someone that it is all okay when it isn't. This why I think I will most likely be single forever.

At this point in my life, I am okay with that, because I am not willing to settle for just anything ever again. I deserve the best. Even if the "best" may not be realistic.

I am not going to hold my breath for Mr. Right. I am too picky. And I have grander expectations for my life than just being someone's wife.

...besides, I think it is a good career move. I can't very well write multiple volumes of my sex life if I don't continue to play the field.